Not as if u will see this

But quit smoking leh. So that i can one day kiss u again 
Maybe amidst all this silence, u found ur us chick alr la.
Whatever. Not as if u will tell me what u think

US trip

I woke up feeling like i should fly to the us soon.  Like going to S and I

Just that the noobie driver me will have a problem getting between locations?! 

I know its not realistic, but it just feels like an escapade? Hahhas. Its like clubbing, partying the night away knowing that u are wasting ur time. And u just have to get ur shit together la.
Its monday, and i find myself ranting to myself again.

Talk with the ex

Conclusion:  the next one will be someone whose love for me, can conquer his fear. 

Is your fear of being unable to trust yourself not to break my heart, greater than your fear of me never being yours again? 

Back home

It has been quite a trip hahhas. 

First time trusting the waterproof case n snorkeling w it.

First time travelling w a colleague that i met only for 4months.

First time puking embarrassingly in front of the friend. And calling for room service after I puked (and the housekeeper didnt take the tip) and the friend had pat my back even tho i think the puke scene was so gross.

It was a chill trip, where my mind is totally at ease. But my body got poisoned. I m all ready, recharged and deal with the adult world again. But my body needs the toilet bowl hah. 

We trusted a taxi driver w our lives and luggage hhahahs. 1.5k

Our flight back was a noisy one..

Talked rubbish w cass and let slip my current crush. (I dont crush v often. But when it hits, it hits hard sia) 

I miss the beach and pretty skies though.

This is highly disoriented.

A walk down the beach

Its the first morning here in Phuket.

I never thought i will do a beach vacation. I wanted to pack my schedule, to see sights, to buy all the cheap stuff and to just be out of my hotel room.

Accommodations plus flight is $302 only leh. My resort has infinity pool too!

Instead of taking the taxi directly to our hotel, we took the mini bus hahahs.  Two girls on a mini bus. I am not sure why we so yolo. But internet review said it was fine? By the time we alighted, it was so late. We were the last to drop off. Thankfully there was another couple w us. If not we would have been so scared. (Thankful for the front seat n not being squeezed at the back)

Its interesting to see how a hut can be placed on top of a truck and it looks like a thailand-caravan.  Interesting to see how the driver put his hand tgt to pray while driving. Interesting to see how a mini bus svc can be commercialised to include travel packaging selling opportunity.  The driver conveniently went to buy fish in the midst of the journey too. Due to language breakdown, he kinda just patronise us and say ok ok. -.- interesting to see how a road is just normal to have so much ups n down. here but in the states, zigzag road can be just a big woo ha. Lolol . Interesting and annoying to have so many pple saying 你好 to us. Chinese doesnt mean china okay. Interesting 

I woke up at 6 surprisinglyz. Wanted to see my sunrise. But errr, the sun rose from thenother side of the island hahhahahas. So, i got a chill beach walk instead. I wanted to creep back to the room when 2 motorcyclist tried talking to me to see if i needed a ride? 

But it was good that i went for a walk still! 

A reminder that life can be so pretty.

It was low tide. The sand beds can be seen.  The water was so clear and pretty.

I saw little fishes that swim up with the tide.  And there were close death instances wher the dish would be left on shore gasping for air, till the next wave comes

High tide, more dirt gets washed up. And it leaves the beach looking dirty like how tourists left it to be.

The tides are different, exposing diff parts of the beach. Pple running along the beach. Often pple tell me to be careful, but there are more people dressed skimpily. An angmoh that ran without bra. Prettier n fitter ppl.  Fat mum in bikini n skinny daughter clother up well. Hmm

Baby crawling along the beach to his parents

Angmoh walking 5 dogs.

 Crabs swimming along the shore, got grabbed by prcs. Small lil crabs swimming. 

While walking alone, i didnt have to worry about catching up w my friend, talking or anything. Just walk n breathe.  Life feels much simpler. Life didnt feel so scary. Every creature of life is getting on w their life just fine.

Happiness lying in simplicity

Bliss.

what a friday

I woke up, from a dream of my ex.

I worked

I ate lunch w a rather anti singaporean and my dubai indian boss.

I had back to back meetings

I finished quite a lot of things on my to do list ; Monday will be a okays. I didn’t bring my laptop home for the weekends.

I told my bro that i will come home to eat on fri, if he cooks for me. He cooked really substandard food and didn’t need my company. so i was just mopping around the house

i ate too much cake to cheer myself up. and now i feel fat.

and a cockroach came to invade my room. and escaped/ went into hiding. sighs.

 

Perhaps, does it occur to you that i feel sad / hurt, under the cover of what you make out as anger?

Years

I gave 3.5 years to uni.

Am i gonna give another 3 years to my first job? To scale the ladder however i want to?

I cant wait to step my foot into US. 

Today’s meeting went well , minus the meetings my mgr postponed.

Tasks-

Do pdp, ask mgr abt the meeting w christian/andy, ask abt our trip, the other stuff to clear?

Ohhh oops. The gr invoice for MM. Need to do it before 10am meeting. 

Sick ; sitting on a bench

Sitting down outside the clinic, waiting for it to open. Cause hr accepts western medication.. And my company is a western ph too?

Yeah, all the trouble Just so that i can take my mc, and maybe some medicine. But whether i eat the medicine or not, thats a separate issue. Stubborn as usual

I went to see the chinese doctor today too. Since this is gonna be a sick day, why not just finish up with all the doctor visit. The overdue health issues/ my poor body that i have been neglecting. I would go, mind over body, and as soon as i focus hard enuf, i would sneeze a little lesser. As if it was payback time, my nose kept me sneezing for quite a while till i finally managed to fall asleep.

I told the chinese doctor abt how i sleep late, how my lifestyle was like.

Drinks wise, i said i drink twice a month, then she was like still ok. But when i said i drink more than one glass each time, she shake head. She tried checking if its red wine? And questioned why i wanted to drink stronger alcohol… In her face of concern(perhaps), i couldnt say that i drank to disconnect my heart and brain, drank to have momentary highness. It sounded so superficial and not justifiable.
Will i ever get back my alcohol free lifestyle? Hmm , if that happens, its gonna be an alcohol free wedding? Lolololol joke. Talking rubbish hahhas
Body, get well soon.
I m sitting on a bench looking like i have nothing  better to do. Like a delinquet. But when  I speak, i sound like crap sigh

Love

I cant afford to start imagining that we will be together again. It derails me from the progress i painfully made.

Friends.

Yeah, friends. As what u wanted

So long as u are happier this way

I just finished watching the back up plan, And its so sweet when the guy convinces the girl that he isnt ever leaving.
Okys sleepy. Nightss

Worked sunday

Only when b asked me how i spent my sunday, it dawned upon me that i just spent the whole sun working

In the day, i was helping out w the wedding. Crashed when i reached home – napped for 2 hours and didnt feel like waking up for dinner. Nonetheless, i woke up n ate like a pig.

After fam dinner, it was tv time. Did the dishes, and open my work laptop.

So my sunday was essentially w-o-r-k. Chatted w D and got really envious of her opportunities to work abroad
Okays impromptu end to the post